Whole Wheat Apple Fritters

21 Jul

whole wheat apple fritters

Back from Seattle!  What a yummy city.  Lucky for me, calories don’t count when you’re on vacation.  That’s true right?  God, I hope so.

The flights gave me a good 5 hours of reading time.  So I buzzed right though Ratio by Michael Ruhlman.  Apparently, he’s a fancy pants food guy, who like, knows everybody who is anybody in the world of food.  Since I’m not in a bad high school movie from the 80s, that’s not really all that important to me but I do like food science and the why’s and how’s of what makes good food happen so this book piqued my interest.  The idea is that a chef (or home cook in my case) armed with these standardized ratios will be freed from recipe slavery.  I have to say that, having read it, I do feel oddly liberated.  Not that I have it all committed to memory quite yet, but having an understanding of what proportions of flour to liquid to fat to baking powder to etc., etc.  goes into making certain types of foods that we create on a regular basis has given me instant confidence.  My balls are feeling brassier already.   The book really helps take the mystery out of the standard preparations for things like bread, cookies, pasta, batters, stock, sausages, and some basic sauces.  He does a great job of making cooking and recipe creation accessible to the masses.  Of course, there’s a learning curve and you have to be willing to relinquish long held fears like measuring by weight as opposed to volume.  This required that I purchase a scale, which I did.  I even measured stuff on it and it was easy.  Continue reading


Whole Wheat Angel Food Cake

15 Jul

whole wheat angel food cake

I’m off to Seattle tomorrow.  Yay!  A real city with real food.  Anyway, I can’t think of anything to write right now and I have to pack.  So sue me! Continue reading

Me Oh My! I Love Pie.

8 Jul

Black and Blue Berry Butterfly Pie

Pop quiz.  What movie is the “Me oh my, I love pie” song from?  Here’s a hint, it’s crappy, stars post-Grease/pre-Pulp Fiction John Travolta (hence, the crappiness), also features the world’s biggest ball of twine.   If you guessed “Michael”, you are correct.  You should also march straight over to Travolta’s house and demand two hours of your life back.

For guessing correctly, I reward you with a recipe for what I’m now calling the Black and Blue Berry Butterfly Pie.  If you’re one of the lame-Os who didn’t get it right, why don’t you celebrate not spending $8 bucks to see that tripe by having a slice of pie. Continue reading

Peach + Blueberry Cobbler

6 Jul

peach and blueberry cobbler

You may not be able to buy happiness but this carby, fatty goodness proves you sure as heck can bake it up in the oven.  If you’re on a diet, quit now and shove a mouthful of this stuff in your face immediately.  Whoever it is you’re trying to impress is definitely not worth missing out on this summery dessert.  As far as I’m concerned, it can take the place of breakfast, lunch or dinner.

I think the fact that peach season coincides with bathing suit season is further proof that god does not exist or if he does, he’s a sadistic prick.  No benevolent creature would create peaches, make them taste so good in a cobbler and then only make them  available during the time of year that’s also perfect for parading around half naked at the beach.

Regardless, I’m totally willing to start clothes shopping in the fat girl section if it means I can indulge in a bowl or twelve of fruit cobbler this summer.   Continue reading

Lattice Topped Fresh Cherry Pie

28 Jun

lattice topped cherry pie

Warehouse shopping is often the impetus for my culinary (mis)adventures.  Yesterday, I bought enough fruit at Sam’s Club to feed a large army.   Most likely this is because, last weekend, my dad made a beautiful fruit salad that I didn’t get to partake in due to a very unfortunate hangover after an impromptu guzzling of several bottles of wine with our neighbor.  Long story short, my chicken coop collapsed and neighbor guy spent about 6 hours helping us fix it so the least we could do was help him drink his wine afterward.  Continue reading

Chocolate Chip Banana Loaffins

23 Apr

chocolate chip banana bread

Ok, so you know when you’re cruising around Sam’s Club during the holidays and you have baking on the brain and the idea of buying a 25 lb. bag of chocolate chips seems brilliant?  And you know when April rolls around and you still have 24 of the 25 lbs. of chocolate chips sitting in your cupboard threatening to start developing that weird white crud on them?  Yes? No?  Perhaps, it’s just me.

My first attempt at using up the chocolate chips was a recipe for whole wheat chocolate chip cookies.  I tortured the whole family with the delicious smell of freshly baked cookies only to find out that chocolate chip cookies are only yummy if no attempts are made to stop them from being really, really ridiculously bad for  you.  My husband relentlessly bitched and complained about how awful they were.  I choked a couple down just to prove him wrong but later in a show of mock self pity I finally admitted to the crimes I committed against nature by using whole wheat flour in a chocolate chip cookie recipe.  Seriously, it was gross.

But then, I came across a whole wheat chocolate chip muffin recipe on the King Arthur Flour website.   I had a squishy banana hanging around so I decided to add it to the mix and do a loaf instead of muffins.  It turned out tasty as all get out.    That guy I live with didn’t even see fit to lecture me on the fact that baked goods just taste better when you use white flour.  Continue reading

Foods of Unnatural Colors

2 Apr

trix treat

Sorry for the hiatus.  An unexpected medical issue has taken up my mental energy the last few weeks.  But enough of that nonsense.  It’s Easter time!  Nothing says Easter like food coloring and refined sugar.  While I generally attempt to avoid all that stuff as much as possible, an Easter without ’em would be just plain un-American.  For anybody over the age of about 12, these are disgusting.  Actually, I’m lying.  I totally dig Rice Krispie treats.  The trix treats on the other hand, are vile.  My kids LOVED them.  Paying homage to his bachelor days, my husband bought a box of the Trix Swirls a few weeks back.  I was transfixed by all the pretty colors and decided I had to use them for something.  I also had this idea for multi-colored Rice Krispie treats that I’ve been meaning to give a shot. Continue reading